Success comes with failure

I was assured today by the website of a fellow coach that unlimited success and total happiness could be mine, all I had to do was employ her, and I would be on my way.

Okay, let’s get real. Yes, I am a coach, yes I believe in success as well happiness, but unlimited success? Isn’t it time we all grew up and got real? The truth is, you will probably fail far more than you succeed.

I know, I know, that makes me a pretty lousy coach, or does it? Do really you want impossible dreams continuously pedalled to you that leave you feeling frustrated, inadequate and generally unhappy with yourself?

When we understand that success is a process and not a destination, that it is the cherry on top of a heap of failures, and if you don’t know what it means to you, you will miss it when it shows up, then we really do have a shot at being successful.

Let’s look at three principles that can genuinely help you on your success journey.

Awareness - This is the first job of a coach; to help your client see what is really going on, both within and around them. Just as a leader’s first responsibility is to establish reality, we all need to connect with what is actually happening. After all, it doesn’t matter how good the map is if you have it the wrong way up.

It is tempting to dismiss this as coaching psycho-babble, but beware; a lack of awareness will bankrupt your company, destroy relationships, and clip the wings of anyone wanting their life to take off. A scary example: what’s the biggest weakness of your personality type? What has to happen for you to overreact and behave in an irrational manner? If you can’t answer that straight away, we have already established a massive vulnerability in your life that could potentially blow up at any time. Awareness is a vital key to success.

Intentionality - Do you remember the Nike slogan “Just do it”? There is so much power in those words, so why is it so often ridiculously difficult to do the things we know we should do. For example, I need to lose weight, and someone pointing out that I should eat less doesn’t make them Sherlock Holmes, I am fully aware; so why don’t I ‘just do it?’.

There are a number of reasons why we don’t act, and sometimes a little nudge, a word of permission is all it takes for people to kick a valuable process into action, but then there are the times when we ‘just don’t’. Why is that? The truth, as I understand it is that our mind is made up of two parts, the conscious and the non-conscious; one part knows what I should do, but the other runs on deeply hidden beliefs, and it also happens to be the one in charge. As we become aware (that word again) of our hidden, non-conscious beliefs, we can then start to intentionally clear the way for us to live as we choose, rather than being stuck wondering what went wrong.

Vision - If we don’t know where we are going, how will we know what to do to get there? But before we run out and start making a vision board, we need to answer some really important questions. These include, is it actually your vision, is it worth the cost, does it fit you or do you need someone to tell you that you can’t sing and a career as a pop star is not for you?

The power of a properly articulated vision is that it makes decisions for you, sets boundaries and allows you to plan your life and not just your day. A clear picture gives us the opportunity to live all our lives, and not just the weekend.

So there they are three things that we will be looking at together, and more importantly, how they can help you become the person you know you are supposed to be.

Go well, my friend.

About the Author
Mark Neale
Author: Mark Neale
A Speaker, Coach & Trainer with the John Maxwell Team, Mark helps people to take back power, progress their career, overcome anxiety, increase their income and change the world by changing their world.

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